Once, I got off the phone with Barton I screamed for joy and gave many thanks to God. I was so overjoyed that I wanted to just skip! I didn’t though and preceded to take a nap. 🙂
But! When I woke up, man I was all over the place. But, I got down on my knees and told the Lord, “God, you have to humble me. You have to break me to the point where all I see and hear and breathe is you. You have to do this, because right now I’m just thinking on how much I can change these peoples’ lives, and not how much you are going to use me to change these peoples’ lives. I don’t want any of this to be selfishness in anyway. If there is a lick of pride or selfishness in my heart for this trip then take it away. I’m here to spread your word, your love, and your passion. Put that passion and love and desire in my heart to be humble and ready for humiliation so that your name can be exalted. It’s not about me Jesus, it’s all about you.”
That’s what I expect. I want the culture shock. I want the persecution. I want the hardships. And, I want to experience it in the name of Jesus. I want to step out of my spoiled world of the U.S., where a church is on every corner and everyone calls themselves a Christian yet doesn’t bear the fruit that the gospel of Matthew clear states we should bear. Yeah…sometimes…I’m that Christian, but I don’t dwell in it because in a repentant heart is a true desire to be renewed by God and changed consistently. I expect overwhelming love and a deeper understanding of God so that I can share that with people in India, but I want to also know and grow in the body of Christ. I hope to achieve that with you guys. 🙂
